Things Sam And Will Are Not Allowed
by BloodRedRibbon
Summary: The Autobot's and Decepticon's have much to learn about the two human's named Sam and Will.
1. Chapter 1

First Fic, please be gentle.

Enjoy though!

Disclaimer: Oh the things I would make them do…

Chapter One

Prowl really did not want to do this, but the humans, Samuel and Major Lennox have left him with no choice. After Prowl left the Rec Room, the curious onlookers peered on the paper tacked onto the wall.

The List of things Sam and Will can not dare or say in front of any Autobot or Decepticon

1) I am not allowed to tell Bumblebee that every Autobot (and Decepticon) needs a theme song. - Sam

2) I am not allowed to tell Hound that the animals at the Zoo need to be free. - Sam

3) I am not allowed to let any mech watch anything that has to do with any robot dying.

*Especially since Ratchet was not pleased with the influx of crashed mechs after watching iRobot. - Will

4) I am never allowed to let the Twins watch Jackass, Wildboyz, Viva La Bam, or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. - Sam

*Also do not allow Wheeljack to watch Mythbusters, the Rec Room still has structural damage.

5) Whenever I see Starscream I can not go up to him a recording device. – Sam and Will

*And when asked by Starscream what I am doing, I do not reply with, "I want to see if you can scream louder than Ratchet."

6) I am absolutely not allowed to let Red Alert watch anything that has to do with conspiracy theories. - Will

*And not repeat them out loud where Red Alert can hear.

7) I will not ask Soundwave if he is the mother of his cassettes and if the father is one of the Seekers. - Sam

*That includes Blaster

8) If Prime says "Roll Out", I do not reply with "Wheeljack hasn't given me wheels yet" and walk away to find said Engineer. – Will and Sam

9) If I yell "Fire!" ever again around Inferno or Red Alert, Ratchet said he would render me mute. – Sam

10) When training with Ironhide, I am not allowed to ask him to show me his cannons every time Galloway walks by. - Will

11) I am not allowed to ever say to either set of Twins "If it doesn't work the first time, try again." - Will

*Including to Wheeljack.

12) I am not allowed to tell any of the Autobots that Annabelle's vomit can eat through metal. – Sam

*Especially not after Annabelle throws up on them.

*Even if it stopped the Decepticon's from kidnapping her.

*That includes Mojo peeing on any mech.

13) I am not allowed to ask Hound to project an open space over a wall and bet how many humans would run in to it. - Sam and Will

14) I am never even supposed to think about daring Jolt to electrify Ratchet with his whips. - Sam

*Especially in front of Optimus, Bee, Jazz, and Ironhide.

15) I will not tell the Autobots that T.V. is brainwashing the human minds into mindless zombies bent on eating human brains. – Sam

*Thankfully the Decepticon's had a horrifying experience with this and to this day nobody knows what happened.

*Also, I am not to ask if they watch T.V. and watch them twitch.

16) I am not allowed to sing the Jaws theme around Ratchet after a prank. – Will and Sam

17) If I saw something intimate between any mech or femme (Including Decepticon's I am not allowed to scream "Cooties!" and run to Ratchet asking for a cootie shot. - Sam

*And not convince the other mechs that saw it with me that they need it too.

18) I am not allowed to teach the Autobot's Leet and make Optimus Prime think he's malfunctioning. – Sam

*And also have the humans in on it too.

19) I am not allowed to call the Mini-Bot's midget-bot's since they are still taller than me. - Sam

20) I am not allowed to suggest to Galloway that he can ride in my plane. – Will

I might have another chapter out tomorrow. *crosses fingers*


	2. Chapter 2

Hola peeps!

I have delivered on my promise and brought you a new chapter!

Note: I forgot to put this in the first chapter, but the Autobot's and Decepticon's have any uneasy truce and sometimes you will find an Autobot in the Decepticon brig or vice versa. Plus the Ark landed and brought more Autobot's and the Nemesis landed and brought more Decepticon's.

Disclaimer: How I wish…

* * *

Chapter 2:

Sam and Will actually did not think Prowl would post the rules he had them write out the other week. Plus he expected them to have an updated list at the end of every week. Unfortunately when the two humans brought it up before Prime, he agreed with Prowl. Talk about sucking the fun out of everything.

Updated list of rules:

21) Just because we have porn, does not mean I can ask if they do. – Sam

*And ask to see it in front of others.

22) I am not allowed to yell "PWNED!" every time Megatron beats up Starscream. – Sam and Will

*Even if Megatron and the Decepticon's find it funny.

*Or when Optimus beats up Megatron.

23) If I get pulled over in an Autobot, I will not bribe the cop with said Autobot. – Sam and Will

*Particularly if it's Barricade or Prowl that pulls me over.

24) I will not tell Sunstreaker or Tracks that they have something on their face and say they still missed it every time they try cleaning it. - Sam

*And also get the other Autobot's in on it.

*In addition to all the mirrors being either broken or misplaced at the same time.

25) Take everything out of the interior of any Cybertronian before they transform. – Sam and Will

*Bluestreak was traumatized for weeks because he kept hearing squeaking from a toy left in him by Annabelle.

26) Bringing an Autobot's holoform to an auction and selling him off is not acceptable. – Sam

*Perceptor was tight-lipped after he was sold to the Seeker trine.

27) Do not ever spike the Energon supply in the Rec Room and watch as the drunken mechs terrorize the city and decide not to inform and Officer about it. - Will

*And the excuse that they need to have fun and loosen up does not cut it.

28) Letting a Decepticon out of the brig with only a paint ball gun as a weapon is unacceptable. – Will and Sam

*Even if "Hide looks pretty in pink.

29) Running a betting pool with Smokescreen for ANYTHING is wrong. - Will

*Even though a lot of the Autobot and Decepticon's income comes from it.

30) I will not attach any sign to any Cybertronian's back. I.e. Kick me, Molest me, Hug me, etc. – Sam

*Ratchet liked it though because it wasn't his shift yet.

31) Hoist and Grapple do not appreciate comments on how a building looks tilted and have their C.P.U.'s crash trying to correct it. – Sam

*This includes saying the same thing to the Constructicon's.

32) Do not try and crash Prowl's C.P.U or there will be hell to pay. – Sam

*Jazz was not happy.

33) The age of any Cybertronian should never be asked in less told by said mech or femme. - Sam

*And calling them names after learning their age.

*Ratchet does not fix injuries caused by stupidity.

34) Asking any of the combiner teams where exactly they attach and what if feels like is forbidden. - Will and Sam

35) Getting Blitzwing stuck on Random should never be done. - Will

*The Autobot's thought it was hilarious when the Decepticon's asked to move in with them to get away from Blitzwing's singing.

36) Selling any parts of any Cybertronian to Lockdown or Swindle is expressively prohibited. - Will

*Jazz and Soundwave refused to come out of their rooms after their visors were stolen.

*The excuse that they don't need them does not work.

37) I will not let Mirage, Hound, both sets of Twins, or Trailbreaker help with any pranks. - Sam and Will

38) If I want to do something with any Cybertronian, I have to ask Prowl or Optimus Prime. - Sam and Will

*Any other Officer does not count, mainly Ironhide, Jazz, and Wheeljack.

39) Starscream is not a femme, no matter how high his voice gets. - Sam

40) Tying down Bumblebee and leaving him to Barricade is wrong. - Sam and Will

*Or tying down any mech and femme and letting the others have their fun is also wrong.

*Red Alert's blackmail collection grew though.

* * *

Wow, some of the shit I wrote came out of nowhere. Well I might have another chapter up tomorrow so…

I'll try to get twenty rules out each chapter and I was asked in my one review if I was going to do any one-shot's to some of the rules. I might, i'm not that confident on my writing though, so we'll see.

Reviews keep me from starving so feed me please!

And ideas are welcome. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Well, I lied and decided to update again today and lucky for you guys I didn't realize how much I was writing and got chapter 4 finished too.

If some of the rules are offensive in any way I'm sorry but…don't read it then. Might as well put that out there now. Oh and if any of these rules resemble or are an exact replica of any other author's I apologize and do not mean for it.

Omg! I am amazed that you guys actually like this Fic! Thank you for all your reviews!

Ummm, I think that's it.

Disclaimer: I swear I'll give them back!

The asterisks* are either an extension of the rule, an explanation, or a comment.

* * *

Chapter 3:

How could so much stuff be forbidden in just a week? So not cool. Even Will is having doubts about updating this every week. I just hope that these rules don't get too long…

Updated List:

41) Femmes do not appreciate questions about their extended chest any more than Earth females. – Sam

42) Scorponok is not a pet. – Sam

*No matter what Blackout says.

*Will, Epps, and Fig were not pleased with this either. Fig started to mumble about barbequed scorpions…

43) Simmons does not find it amusing that he was locked in a walk-in freezer and left to freeze like 'Bee. – Sam and Will

*Optimus and the rest of the command staff actually ignored the man's pleas for help for about a half-an-hour.

44) If I have any questions about the Cybertronian's anatomy or reproduction ask Ratchet. – Sam

*Quite a few mech's over heated at some of these questions

45) Saying I can talk to Primus and can grant any of your wishes was not taken lightly. – Sam

*They didn't believe me when I said I really could talk to Primus.

46) Screaming, "No! I will not make-out with you!" in a crowded place with any Autobot or Decepticon holoform is not funny. - Sam and Will

*Other people that it was though.

47) Painting any mech of femme a different color without their consent is not allowed. - Sam

*Sunstreaker tore apart the Ark looking for his last can of yellow paint after being painted like a daffodil.

48) Getting Mirage to make me appear and disappear in front of anybody and make them think that they are seeing ghosts is prohibited. - Will

*Mirage got away unscathed though for conveniently disappearing from the hall.

49) Telling the Dinobot's (Minus Swoop) that they can fly like the Arielbot's is strictly forbidden. - Sam

*Ratchet and First Aid were NOT happy and I was banned from the Med-bay for a week.

50) Not going to Ratchet for any injury, illness, etc. and going to a human doctor instead is not smart. - Sam and Will

*Ratchet would not let us leave the Med-bay for a week when we came back.

*Never went to another doctor again.

51) Letting any Cybertronian play human sports is not allowed unless TWO Officers are present. - Sam and Will

*Ironhide does not count.

*Humans are allowed to watch at a distance with at least THREE mech's present.

52) Never, ever mess with Red Alert's security cameras. - Sam

*Being locked in an elevator with Gears is NOT fun.

*Red Alert has too much blackmail material to ignore this rule.

53) Stealing Ratchet's high grade and making him chase after you all the way to the Nemesis is stupid and forbidden. - Will

*Even if Ratchet was missing for a couple of days and decided not to lecture and threaten me.

54) Daring an Autobot or Decepticon to perform any stunts seen in a video game is not allowed. - Sam

*Especially around Sideswipe and Jazz.

*Ratchet's still mad.

55) Car surfing is hazardous and should have never been attempted. - Sam

*'Bee's still not allowed to take me anywhere till further notice.

56) We have to take in consideration to the Cybertronian's about what food we eat in front of them. - Sam and Will

*Freaking them out with what we eat is wrong.

*Especially if we dare them to eat it.

57) I am not allowed to let any of the Cybertronian's keep a pet. - Sam and Will

*Particularly the scientists, most Decepticons, Jolt, and Wheeljack.

*Those poor animals...

58) Ratchet's Med-bay and Wheeljack's lab are strictly off limits unless you are accompanied by said mechs. - Sam and Will

*Stealing anything from inside either will have you threaten with dismemberment by Ratchet.

59) Saying the Decepticon's kidnapped me from school is not an excuse for ditching. - Sam

*Said Decepticon's were not happy when a contingent of Autobot's raided the Nemesis.

*Skywarp thought it was funny when they cornered Starscream.

60) Asking stupid questions will get you nowhere. - Sam and Will

*A list of said questions will be posted soon.

* * *

Lucky for you guys I didn't realize how much I was writing and got Chapter 4 finished too.

Expect that out sometime tomorrow! I need some idea's....

Give me love!


	4. Chapter 4

I love you guys! I'm just absolutely blown away that you guys love this that much!

If you see any hints of slash…well you can kind of ignore it till next chapter. Nothing explicit though. Also, Sam and Miekela are not together, Will and Sarah are divorced and Will has custody of Annabelle.

I think that's it…Oh! I forgot, well I'll tell you at the end of the chapter.

Disclaimer: All my dreams shattered :(

* * *

Chapter 4:

Prowl forgot to mention that we put in past experiences along with the new week's rules. Did we mention half of them are from the Holiday's?

Updated List:

61) Parties are to be approved by ALL of the Command Staff. – Sam and Will

*Have to be escorted by an Officer that is not Ironhide or Jazz to be able to attend.

*No repeat of this week's mishap with the high grade.

*Prime is never allowed more than one cube of high grade.

62) Giving random hugs and laughing insanely is not approved. - Sam

*Scared the Mini-bots in to hiding.

*Decepticon's refused to come over.

63) Saying the voices in my head made me do it is also not an excuse. - Sam

*Watching Ratchet and 'Bee freak out was worth it though.

64) Sideswipe and Sunstreaker's high grade is off-limits. – Sam and Will

*Found out it was their high grade we used to spike the Energon a couple of weeks ago.

*Still was blamed.

65) Asking Skywarp for his warping device and using it is not allowed. - Sam

*Wheeljack and Bluestreak could not look me in the eyes for days.

66) Trying to get Omega Supreme to talk to the Constucticon's is stupid and should never happen again. – Sam and Will

*Megatron and Optimus have forbidden us to talk to them without another Cybertronian present.

67) Asking Blurr to slow his talking down is like asking Bluestreak to shut up.

*NOT RECEMENDED. – Sam and Will

68) Screaming that you will rescue the Cassettes from their evil master is not advised. - Will

*Still have to avoid Blaster and Soundwave.

69) Asking who the "Fairest of them all" and throwing an 'Enchanted' mirror in a crowd of mechs and femmes in not suggested. - Sam

*I do not want to know how Starscream won that one.

70) Referring to any of the Autobots or Decepticons as Disney characters is not allowed. – Sam (For giving the idea to Annabelle.)

*Particularly as Disney Princesses.

71) Giving any Cybertronian a nickname is banned unless they themselves give you one to use. – Sam and Will

*Never ever call Sunstreaker, Sunny, Sunshine, Daffodil of Doom, etc.

*Even Sideswipe doesn't get away with this.

72) Buying anything on the joint Autobot-Decepticon account without permission is not allowed. – Sam and Will

*Thundercracker did not enjoy the truck load of plush toys.

*And the Conehead's refuse to mention what they received.

73) No fireworks allowed near Wheeljack during New Year's. – Will

*Or ever.

*Still haven't gotten around to covering the hole on the runway.

74) On Valentine's Day cards can be exchanged, but not with pranks in them. – Sam

*The skunk smell still hasn't come off of Skids and Mudflap.

*Glitter is added to the banned list.

*Banned list of item's coming soon.

75) April Fool's Day is not ever going to be celebrated on the Ark or the Nemesis. – Sam and Will

*Ratchet and the Constructicon have made sure of that.

76) Easter is supposed to be fun, not intended to scare any Cybertronian's. – Sam

*Telling them that the Easter eggs are grenades is dumb and idiotic.

*Saying the Easter Bunny can never been seen or caught has never met a group of determined mechs.

77) Fourth of July can have fireworks as long as Wheeljack is not near them. – Will

*Who knew Wheeljack wouldn't cause the explosion?

*Optimus also is not allowed near fireworks.

78) Halloween is only really intended for us only. – Sam and Will

*Having Ratchet yell at the mechs and femmes stupid enough to try to dress up and end up getting caught in said costume was hilarious though.

79) No food fights during Thanksgiving. – Sam

*Just because 'Bee and 'Cade left me out doesn't mean I have to retaliate with food in their face.

80) I am not allowed to let any Cybertronian help with the human's Christmas tree or shopping. – Sam and Will

*I don't know how many casualties we had this Christmas.

* * *

Whew! I need to talk to some of my friends for more ideas. I will probably have Chapter 5 up tomorrow hopefully.

There is hinted slash in some of these chapters (I forgot to mention that); for the most part you can probably ignore it.

Mucho love!


	5. Chapter 5

HaHa! I was able to get this out today. Thanks you all your reviews1 It gives a warm tingling feeling inside. ^_^

Oh! I have a new fic posted up if you wanna check it out. I might get the second chapter of it out today too.

Dragon Queen88: Thanks for bring that up, I forgot to mention that.

I am going to be using characters from TFA and G1/G2 but it is based in the movie verse.

Would having the Autobots be the bad guys and the Decepticon's the good guys a good plot for the movie verse? I already have an idea about how I want it to play out and I would love your guy's opinions. Thanks :)

Disclaimer: Can I just borrow them please?

* * *

Chapter 5:

Prowl told Will and I to keep up the good work and keep writing. Does he think that we would need to do this every week? Primus help us all…

Updated List:

81) I will not ask Sideswipe and to use their pile drivers for anything. - Sam and Will

*The Constructicon's, Grapple, and Hoist were stuck in a cave for a while.

*We almost flooded the Ark the other time.

82) Human phrases can not be used to confuse a Decepticon or Autobot out of a situation. - Sam and Will

*The Command Staff said it worked a little too well.

*Hot Rod, Kup, and Springer refuse to talk to either of us.

*Any other humans are not allowed to either.

83) I can not go around saying I was abducted by giant alien robots. - Sam

*Even thought its true.

84) Teaching human pick-up lines to Decepticon's is to be reconsidered. - Sam

85) Same with teaching human jokes to the Autobot's. - Will

86) Getting an Autobot or Decepticon to pretend their my mom or dad and have them call in sick for me is forbidden. - Sam

*I only got caught because Jolt felt bad.

*Second time Barricade was just being a sadistic bastard.

87) Repeating any Cybertronian curse words around the Autobot Command Staff is not advised.

*Jazz was impressed when he heard us cussing each other out.

*The Decepticon's actually encouraged it.

*Prowl was not pleased.

88) No scaring the new recruits under any circumstances. - Will

*They should be telling Ironhide that.

*I think they got an eyeful of Skyfire and Starscream though.

*I think they did it on purpose too.

89) I should not tell any Cybertronian that human female's 'mood swings' should never be provoked willingly. - Sam

*Mikaela hits hard.

90) The ten second rule should be avoided around any of the Medical Staff. - Sam and Will

*Hook decided we needed a full check-up and Ratchet agreed.

91) Mentos + Soda + Ironhide = Disaster. - Will

*Still have a bruise from that one.

92) Any candy is not allowed around the Cybertronian's. - Sam

*Especially from Halloween.

*First Aid was not sympathetic at all.

93) Getting a tattoo of either faction symbol is not allowed. - Sam and Will

*They were still flustered after we told them it was washable.

*Ratchet still insisted on 'removing' it himself.

*Between him and Hook, the Med-bay should be avoided at all costs.

94) Showing the Autobot's a website on body piercing did not go over well at all and should never happen again. - Sam

*Even Beachcomber and Seaspray were horrified.

95) Taking the Cassettes to a club without Blaster or Soundwave present is suppose to never happen again. - Sam and Will

*We lost Steeljaw and Ravage for a while.

*Rumble and Frenzy said they would convince the two to talk to us again.

96) Driving with no hands or with my feet is not allowed ever again. - Sam, Will, Epps, Leo, and Miles

*Optimus had to bail all of us out of jail.

*The Stunticon's were grounded at the Nemesis for a week.

97) When swimming, the Autobot with you should be notified of the limitations the human body has while in and under water. - Any human

*Beachcomber and Seaspray were the only two not panicking.

98) The maze in the fourth book of Harry Potter is a good training exercise, until the creatures were recreated. - Sam

*The Sphinx refused to let Blackout go.

99) Trying to recreate anything from Harry Potter is banned. - Sam and Will

100) Telling any Cybertronian that some of our plant life can eat a mech whole did not go over will. - Will

*Supposedly the flyer-types each have encountered plant life like that before and refused to fly near any mountains or tree lines.

*Megatron and Optimus made me apologize.

* * *

Awesome sauce! I got to a hundred rules! WOOT!

Ummm, ya…I don't know when I'll get another chapter out though. I ran out of ideas for the moment. Hopefully my other fic will keep you guys entertained till I get another chapter for this one.

I'm almost done with the List of Stupid things to say or do, so that should be out soon. The Banned Item list I haven't gotten around to yet.

Love me please!


	6. Chapter 6

Author:Bloodredribbon

Title: Sam And Will Are Not Allowed...

Disclaimer: Me no own :(

**Author's Notes**

You guys are amazing and I love you all! I'm happy to say that i'm going to be taking 10 rules from each chapter and doing one-shots, its not going to happen for a while though :/

Also, my other fic I took down because I wanted to have a few more chapters written and have my Beta go over them.

And thanks to my Beta Darklight8121 for rule #'s 101, 104-110, and 113

* * *

Chapter 6:

A hundred rules! A hundred and Prowl still wants us to write more! When is this going to end?!?

Updated List:

101) Having Annabelle learn Cybertronian is for Optimus and Prowl to decide, not for me and Ironhide.

*She knows way more than she should just by listening to the others.

*I don't think we could stop Ironhide if we tried.

102) Recording any 'Bot or 'Cons voice and using it when asked a question.

*Having the Autobot's twitch violently every time Megatron's voice was used was priceless.

103) Asking a Decepticon to threaten someone you don't like is not right.

*It worked though.

104) Farting in Sunstreaker or Tracks should be an obvious one.

*That bruise still hasn't healed.

105) "Did you know that there really are secret government groups and that Sector Seven was just one of them? Also the Secretary of Defense did not know about them. It makes you wonder what other groups there are now that the Cybertronian's are public knowledge." Do not say this. AT ALL.

*Red Alert and Keller weren't seen for a while.

*Optimus short-circuited.

106) Leaving Prank books conveniently laying around for both sets of Autobot Twins to find.

*The Command Staff haven't been able to find all the books yet.

*Have Skywarp to thank for that.

107) Telling the 'Bots and 'Cons about Fanficiton just to watch their reactions is not amusing.

*Med-bay was over-crowded that day.

108) Encouraging Wheeljack to read the 'Stupid but genius invention' website is to be avoided at all costs.

*I didn't know there were that many colors could be produced.

109) Drawing fanart of the Cybertronian's, hanging it around the Ark and Nemesis, and saying it wasn't us.

*But it wasn't!

*'Finding' it and doing the same thing again.

*Still wasn't us!

110) Giving Galloway 'V.I.P.' tickets to the Caribbean and sending him with an air-borne Autobot.

*After that, Galloway finally quit.

*Command Staff was happy with the outcome at least.

111) Saying my brain feels like its going to explode from all the information crammed in there should not be said around any Autobot.

*The Decepticon's would just sit and watch.

112) Being told no and still go and do it.

*No comment.

113) Telling the Lambo Twins about the 'Stupid Law' website and encouraging them to try it out.

*At least they were able to get on T.V.

114) Bringing any Autobot holoform to a monster truck rally was a disaster waiting to happen.

*Especially since the Combaticon's and Stunticon's were behind us commenting.

115) Telling any Cybertronian that they can catch our illnesses should have never been believed.

*For some odd reason they **did **believe me and avoided the humans.

*Jazz noticed though and asked what they were doing.

*He locked me in a room with a sick Mikaela.

116) Asking for a vacation from Prime got me laughed from his office.

117) Singing the 'Song That Never Ends' or 'It's A Small World' loud and off-key at night.

*Unleashing the Lambo Twins onto the Nemesis after teaching them was hilarious though.

*The Decepticon's agreed that it was a good torture technique.

118) Never tell a Seeker 'No' when he asks you to wash him.

119) Asking Ironhide to blow up the college because you hate it.

*Poor Ironhide get really excited about it too.

120) Never ask Wheeljack to alter any of the humans electronics ever again.

*Oven still works at least. Can't say the same for the rest of the cafeteria.

* * *

AN: I have absolutely no idea when the next chapter is gonna be up. On the other hand I have the first chapter of Stupid Things Not to Say Or Do so that shouldn't be too bad.

Love me!


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Things Sam And Will Are Not Allowed

Author: Bloodredribbon

Disclaimer: I wish…

AN: There are a lot of changes I am doing for this fic; hopefully you'll like it just as much as my Beta and I do! Enjoy.

Sacred Histories: Thanks for the idea, I'm gonna use it if it's alright with you? All credit will go to you at the beginning of the chapter.

* * *

Chapter 7:

Ratchet wants Will and me to integrate the List Of Stupid Things To Say into the rules and have The Banned List at the end of the rules. I personally don't want to add even **more **stuff to this list, but Ratchet's scary with his Wrench of Doom ã

Update List:

121) Asking Ratchet where he learned to cuss like that. - Sam

*And asking if he could teach me.

*I wasn't seen for the rest of the day.

122) Pretending to be a Ninja at night and 'attacking' intruders. – Sam and Will

*Optimus has seriously been considering on building a human-sized brig for Will and I to keep us from getting into trouble.

123) Can I touch it? – Sam

*I've never seen Inferno move so quickly before.

124) Taking embarrassing pictures of the Cybertronian's and posting them on the internet. – Sam and Will

*Starscream getting beat with his arm was funny though.

*Or Soundwave singing Ratbat to sleep.

*Or Jazz groping Prowl.

125) How do you turn it on? – Sam

*I've never seen Wheeljack's optics twitch like that before.

126) Just because the 'Bots and 'Cons don't mind us walking around naked, doesn't mean the

other humans do. – Sam and Will

*Had the Lambo Twins staring a little too closely though.

127) Is this safe? – Sam and Will

*And proceed to roughly handle one of Wheeljack's inventions.

128) Being the Human Liaison for the Cybertronian's does not mean I can stop going to college. – Sam

*Really thought it would work too.

129) Does that mean yes? – Will

*If I am not caught and blamed for it, yes it does.

130) Letting Ratchet watch House was a bad idea. – Sam

*And I do not want to know who his 'Cuddy' is.

131) How do you go to the bathroom? – Sam

*'Bee laughed and demonstrated how on Simmons, again.

132) Antacids falls under the same category as rule 91(mentos). – Will

*I didn't think it would cause an even bigger explosion.

133) The voices told me to do it. – Sam

*I was serious too.

134) Never show the Incredibles ever again. – Will

*Poor Annabelle.

135) You're Old. – Sam

*Megatron scarred me for life with his response. – Sam and Will

136) Taking the pictures mentioned in rule 124 and making pin-up calendars. -Sam and Will

*Made a lot of money off them though.

137) You're so Megatron's bitch. – Sam

*I wasn't allowed near Starscream without an escort for a while.

138) Laughing loudly for no apparent reason. – Sam and Will

*Scared a few 'Bots.

*'Cons already think were crazy.

139) Can I leave? – Sam and Will respectively

*Never say this in Ratchet's Medical-bay.

*Optimus wouldn't let me leave the meeting room for another three hours.

140) Pig Latin is not to be used either.

*Refer to rule 20 about Leet.

Banned List not up yet.

* * *

Prowl didn't think that the human Epps and Mikaela would go so far as to tack on their own comments about Sam and Will's list. On the other hand, Epps and Mikaela's cool logic against Sam and Will's insanity?

Updated Comments:

104) Farting in Sunstreaker or Tracks should be an obvious one. – Sam

*Of course you would get a bruise! They ejected you out of them! - Mikaela

36) Selling any parts of any Cybertronian to Lockdown or Swindle is expressly prohibited. – Will

*Just because you don't think they need those parts doesn't mean you can sell them. That's Ratchets job to decide not yours. – Mikaela.

55) Car surfing is hazardous and should have never been attempted. – Sam

*Leave it to the Pro's –Gets hit- Uh, I mean you could have died and I don't think 'Bee could have explained that very well to Optimus, his parents or 'Cade.-Epps

89) I should not tell any Cybertronian that human female's 'mood swings' should never

be provoked willingly. – Sam

*Are you saying that I'm mean? And of course, I hit hard! - Mikaela

*Girls are scary and you should never say anything about their 'mood swings'.-Epps

15) I will not tell the Autobots that TV. is brainwashing the human minds into mindless zombies bent on eating human brains. – Sam

*The Decepticon's should have known better. – Epps

* * *

Wow, that took forever and a day to figure out might have another one tomorrow!

Love me please!


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Things Sam and Will Are Not Allowed

Author: Bloodredribbon

Disclaimer: I don't own and I also do not own Family Guy either :(

AN: Sorry, it took so long! I had a hectic weekend, but it's all gravy now so you guys get an update! Oh, with the one-shots, when I start running out of ideas then I start doing them.

Dglsprincess105 – Thanks for giving me Rule #147!

* * *

Chapter 8:

Prowl and Ratchet are evil I tell you, evil! I'm surprised that my hand hasn't fallen off from all this writing. Will just tells me to suck it up and write. Spoilsport…

Updated List:

141) Pointing an electronic device at random mech or femmes and screaming "Virgin!" – Sam

*I didn't see a few chosen mechs for a while.

*I think I broke Megatron when I did it to Optimus.

142) Are you considered ugly? – Sam and Will

*…that **is** a stupid question.

143) Start to argue with an inanimate object and storm away. – Sam and Will

*It was mocking me!

144) Can you guys get naked? – Will

*I was directed to the Med-bay.

*Ratchet just gave me 'Are you stupid?' look.

145) Running a commentary on the daily lives of the Cybertronian's and post it on the internet. – Sam and Will

*Those fan girls are rabid.

*Those poor Mini-bots never had a chance.

146) Can you transform into something cooler? – Sam

*Blaster and Soundwave sulked for a week and got a new alt-mode.

*Perceptor just glared at me.

147) He's cute, can I hug him? – Sam

*Ratbat was o.k. with it, but Rewind wasn't.

*Blaster and Soundwave thought it was funny.

148) Do I look stupid? – Sam and Will

*Almost a hundred percent of the time we got a yes.

149) The movie Tremors is to not be EVER shown again. – Will

*The 'Cons were glad that their base was underwater.

150) Would that fit? – Sam

*Ratchet does not appreciate questions while working.

*Neither does Hook or surprisingly First Aid.

151) We can not decide ourselves if a 'Bot or 'Con needs a catch phrase. – Sam and Will

*Warpath loved his.

*The others, well…

152) Do you or do you not know about the bird? - Sam

*Because everyone knows that the bird is the word!

*Prowl blamed me because I taught it to Jazz.

153) Our faces will not get stuck in one position. – Sam and Will

*Blurr freaked out.

*Shockwave and Lockdown were entertained though.

154) What's this do? – Sam

*I didn't think the big red button in the Security Room would lock down the Ark.

*Only Red Alert had the Command code to override it and he was half-way across the

world with faulty communications.

155) Switching all of the Command Staff's data-pads with the 'Cons. - Will

*Surprisingly, Starscream was able to not blow up Wheeljack's invention and actually improve on it.

*Ratchet thought it was funny for some weird reason, even though he received Megatron's.

156) How do you have sex? – Will

*That was an interesting experience.

157) Warn the Cybertronian before you go to an amusement park what to expect. – Sam and Will

*We didn't think holoforms could get sick.

158) How do you turn this on? – Sam

*I've never seen Wheeljack's optics twitch like that before.

159) Even though we padded the dumpster, we still cannot go dumpster diving. – Sam and Will

*Who would have thought Powerglide and Windcharger would freak out about seeing us

dive off the top of the front door?

160) Can I come along? – Sam and Will

*We were locked in a room by Prowl while some of the 'Bots went to the Nemesis.

* * *

Updated Banned List:

29) Glue – Sam

*Smokescreen won that bet, shouldn't have picked a Decepticon.

9) Peanut Butter (Only if being eaten) - Will

*Who would have thought that Ravage and Steeljaw would get their mouths stuck?

36) Tinsel (Not even for Christmas) – Sam and Will

*Medics on both factions refused to help untangle anybody.

12) BertyBots Every Flavored Beans (Harry Potter). – Sam

*We got go many grossed out look.

1) Human arts and craft – Will

*Unless it stays in my room.

*That's even pushing it.

* * *

Prowl decided that he liked that Epps and I were commenting on the rules and is letting us go all out.

Updated Comments:

4) I am never allowed to let the Twins watch Jackass, Wildboyz, Viva La Bam, or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. – Sam

*There's a reason why Wheeljack has his own fall-out room. – Mikaela

*Even we humans would not try the stuff attempted in that shows/movie. – Epps

27)Do not ever spike the Energon in the Rec. Room and watch as the drunken mechs terrorize the city and decide not to tell an Officer. – Will

*Do you know how much structural damage the city had? – Mikaela

*Loosening up and having fun does not include de-flowering the local cars. – Epps

115) Telling any Cybertronian that they can catch our illnesses is ridiculous. – Sam

*And I'm glad that they locked you in a room with me. – Mikaela

*The humans thought the 'Bots and 'Cons were malfunctioning too. – Epps

71) Giving any Cybertronian a nickname is banned unless they themselves give you one to use. – Sam and Will

*Sunstreaker caused a lot of collateral damage looking for you two. – Epps

*Even Sideswipe refused to help you maybe that will teach you two a lesson. – Mikaela.

138) Laughing loudly for no apparent reason. – Sam

*Your lucky that those discharges missed us. – Epps

*I even heard your laughter from the Rec. Room and I was in the Med-bay! – Mikaela.

* * *

AN: Finished it! No clue for the next chapter though.

Love me!


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: ****Sam And Will Are Not Allowed**

**Author: Bloodredribbon**

**Disclaimer: I don't own. Also don't own Family Guy (cookies to who can find the reference) and or any of the movies I have mentioned in all the chapters.**

**AN: I'm really sorry it took this long to update! I've been working on a couple of other fics and got sidetracked. :P **

**And thanks to my Beta for rule 's 169, 173, 175, and 177.**

**Gremlins belong to Black Dragon Queen and I thank her for letting me borrow them.**

**Onwards!**

**Oh I should have mentioned earlier but some of the hints of slash aren't what you think they are :D**

_**

* * *

**_

**Chapter 9:**

Sam is such a whiner, he thinks that this is a lot of writing? He's going to be in for a big surprise when he's fully instated as the official Cybertronian Liaison. I feel sorry for him though, the amount of paperwork that he's going to be doing is going to rival Primes or Prowl's.

Updated List:

161) What's the worst that can happen? - Sam and Will

*Should never challenge the powers of worst.

162) Only the command staff should have email accounts made. - Sam and Will

*That still didn't stop the Lambo twins, Skywarp, and all the Cassetticons.

163) Are we there yet? - Sam

*Who would have thought even laid-back Beachcomber would get mad?

164) Do not tell horror stories of the junk yards. - Will

*There wasn't any incidents for the whole week though.

*Optimus and Megatron let it slide for a while.

165) Can I eat it? - Sam

*Even the Decepticon's gave me weird looks.

*It looked tasty though!

166) Trying to steal or ask to use Red Alert's blackmail material. - Sam and Will

*He gave in after we left a tied up Inferno in his room.

167) Saying, "My god! I'm a tomato!" when you start bleeding. - Will

*Ratchet convinced Optimus to not let me on missions for a while.

168) Eying Ratchet's tools when said CMO is in the room can lead to dangerous results. - Sam

169) Are Prowl and Barricade related? - Sam

*Prowl walked away while 'Cade started laughing.

*Jazz just patted me on the head and said he would tell me when I was older.

*So is that a yes?

170) Talking in song. - Sam and Will

*We were able to get Bluestreak, Jazz, Sideswipe, 'Bee, Blaster, all of the Cassettes,

'Cade, Starscream, and a few others to do it too.

*Megatron and Optimus refused to come out of their rooms.

171) Do I want to know where you have been? - Will

*It was a legitimate question!

*Hound wasn't even offended.

172) There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or Leprechauns. - Sam and Will

173) Are the Dinobot's mentally handicapped? - Sam

*Ratchet and Wheeljack really are the scariest 'Bots ever.

174) Never show any Cybertronian . - Will

*The 'Cons said even they wouldn't do some of the stuff shown.

*It was funny though.

175) Are Sunstreaker and Sideswipe lovers? - Sam

*…

*They showed me why they weren't lovers…with Ratchet.

176) Do not take any 'Con to go TP'ing. - Will

*They had a little too much fun with this.

177) Keep this up and I'm going to fall asleep in you. - Will

*I tried getting out of 'Hide after I said this. It didn't quite work.

178) Ironhide and the movie Gremlins do not mix. - Will

*He thought that there actually were Gremlins on the Ark.

*…

*I take that back.

179) What the, what does that have anything to do with sex? - Sam

*The Arielbot's got a look in their optics after I said this and I ran.

180) Using Teletran's base wide communications. - Sam

*Everybody does not want to know what I do with 'Bee and 'Cade.

*Or what Will does with Ironhide.

Updated Banned Items List:

32) Foam Peanuts/Styrofoam. - Sam and Will

*Refer to rule 159 about dumpster diving.

8) Any duplicate vehicle. - Will

*Finding out that you weren't actually talking to another Autobot was hilarious though.

21) Silly Putty/Play Dough - Will

*Even Annabelle is not allowed to have this.

16) Mirrors - Sam and Will

*Except in the bathrooms

27) Magnets - Sam

*Poor Windcharger.

* * *

I have no clue how Will and Sam just keep raking in these rules! Some of the things they have done…I'm glad that those two do not try to include Mikaela and I anymore. So is the Command Staff, said they didn't need even more humans causing trouble.

Updated Comments:

126) Just because the 'Bots and 'Cons do not mind us walking around naked, doesn't mean

that the other humans do. - Sam and Will

*I have no desire to see you naked Sam. - Mikaela

*Leaving walking around naked for the locker rooms. - Epps

55) Sideswipe and Sunstreaker's high grade is off-limits. - Sam and Will

*There's a reason why those two get in trouble for brewing it in the first place (Refer to

rule 27) - Mikaela

*Having drunken mechs around drunken humans do not mix. - Epps

96) Driving with no hands or with my feet is not allowed. - Sam, Will, Epps, Fig, Leo, and Miles

*You too Epps? Your suppose to be the adult here! Not encourage the insanity Will and Sam have created! - Mikaela

159) Even though we padded the dumpster we still can not go dumpster diving. - Sam and Will

*Ratchet refused to let you guys go around without and escort for a week for that stunt.

*Windcharger and Powerglide thought you guys were trying to commit suicide. - Mikaela

41) Femmes do not appreciate questions bout their extended chest anymore than Earth females. - Sam

*You do know that Mikaela is just as scary as Ratchet right? - Epps

* * *

**AN: I think I only have enough for a few more chapters :P**

**Love me!**


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Things Sam and Will Are Not Allowed

Author: Bloodredribbon

Disclaimer: I don't own and I also don't own the song _Black Velvet _either and whatever else is mentioned.

AN: Hehe, sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! I hope everybody is having a happy holiday anyways and all that jazz. Oh, the AN at the end of the chapter is important so please read it.

Thanks to my Beta Darklight8102 for rule 's #181, 182, 188, and 189.

Also thanks to Sacred Histories for rule #186

* * *

Prowl seemed to be in an unusually good mood today. I did see Lockdown enter Prowl's room last night though. Need to tell Will and Smokescreen that the bet that Prowl and Jazz are bondmate's is over.

Update List:

181) Calling, 'Here kitty kitty' to Ravage. - Sam

*Preceptor just sat there and watched, said it was pay back.

182) Wheelie is NOT to be used as stress relief. - Will

*'Hide was impressed how far the toy truck flew though.

183) Pretending to flirt with someone else to get your bonded jealous. - Sam and Will

*We were kicked out of the night club for excessive violence.

*Even Mudflap and Skids avoided us after that for a while.

184) Threatening to release Annabelle on the Cybertronian's when they are recharging. - Will

*Sunstreaker decided to teach Annabelle how to draw when he heard me say this.

185) Do not pretend to have multiple personalities and decide to argue with Blitzwing. - Will

*Thank Primus that the Nemesis and the Ark are still standing.

186) Sending an Evil Overlord List to Megatron and highlighting the parts where he failed in. - Sam

*Also saying that because of his multiple failures in these areas, he would never be able to achieve universal domination.

187) Making a web-site for the 'Bots and 'Cons without the Command Staff's permission. - Sam and Will

*We took it down ourselves after the first week.

*As to why: **FANGIRLS!**

188) Magic is NOT real. - Sam

*I thought I could get Prowl to believe it too.

189) Never play the song _Black Velvet _near Ironhide. - Will

190) Bringing the Dinobot's holoform to a museum that has dinosaur bones in it. - Sam and Will

*Could not get Grimlock to leave the T-Rex exhibit.

*The other four decided to play hide and seek.

191) Magnets are not allowed in the vicinity of Windcharger. - Sam

*It took the Medical Staff a few days to remove the magnets.

192) Taunting a mech or femme and running behind someone to defend you. - Sam

* Optimus told me that I have to face the consequences of my actions myself.

*The femme's still are giving me the evil eye.

193) Twisting someone's words into a sexual innuendo. - Sam and Will

*Lockdown asked if we could teach him a few of the humans one.

*Sideswipe asked too, but we know that Ratchet will know we taught him.

194) One word: **Cross-dressing. **- Sam and Will

195) While in a movie theater, do not pretend to have sex. - Will

*I wasn't pretending in the first place.

*Plus, I think 'Hide and I were more entertaining than the movie anyways.

196) Making a Voodoo doll of any Cybertronian and telling them what it is suppose to do. - Sam

*And not mention that it's fake.

*Megatron was disappointed.

197) Repeating everything that is said to you. - Will

*The scientists found this 'fascinating' and wanted to 'observe' me.

198) Telling a 'Bot or 'Con while they're in their holoform that making faces at a stop light will make it change. - Sam and Will

*Scared the people in the car next to us.

199) Teaching a Cybertronian how to do a Chinese stop at a stoplight. - Sam and Will

*Not a good idea if a Cop or big-rig is next to you.

200) If I am in trouble I do not go and blame it on Annabelle. - Sam

*She actually **did **do it though!

* * *

Updated Banned Items List:

14) Toilet paper. - Will

*Unless it is in the bathroom.

24) Fireworks. - Will

*Except for the fourth of July and New Years.

5) Any type of candy. - Sam and Will

*Only on Halloween, Christmas, and Easter.

*Especially bubble gum and taffy.

34) Christmas lights. - Sam

*Except on Christmas.

19) Ninja items. - Sam

*Throwing stars, etc.

* * *

The human sized brig that Optimus had installed did not last a week. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe decided to rescue their partners in crime and in the process blew up the human brig. Ironhide and Inferno tried catching them, but Skywarp showed up and warped them out. Epps and I have a bet going that Optimus is going to give Will and Sam to Megatron to deal with.

Updated Comments:

145) Running a commentary on the daily lives of the Cybertronian's and proceed to post it on the Internet. - Sam and Will

*Those fan girls are dangerous! They know way too much about the Autobot's and Decepticon's. - Epps

*Do you know how fearless they are? Even Megatron was having a hard time deterring them! - Mikaela

22) I am not allowed to yell "PWNED" every time Megatron beats up Starscream. - Sam and Will

*There is much more damage dealt to Starscream when you to are in attendance. - Mikaela

*Since Skyfire intervened, Smokescreen said that you two lost the bet. - Epps

9) If I yell "Fire!" ever again around Inferno or Red Alert, Ratchet said he would render me mute. - Sam

*Red Alert does not need to be more twitchy than usual. - Epps

*Ratchet said he would let me help. - Mikaela

152) Do you or do you not know about the bird? - Sam

*I swear to Primus Sam that I am going to get the Command Staff to ban Family Guy! - Mikaela

*Kid, I'm surprised they just don't keep you locked in a room. - Epps

66) Trying to get Omega Supreme to talk to the Constructicon's is stupid and should never happen again. - Sam and Will

*Even Devestator could not keep Omega Supreme from causing some destruction. - Epps

*I think Omega Supreme is angry at the Constructicon's for more than just betraying him… - Mikaela

* * *

AN: Well I have officially ran out of ideas. You know what that means? ONE-SHOTS!

The first four people to request a rule they want will appear in the first ten one-shots. Of course this will take a while to do though.

Bookworm310, I'm gonna do rule # 93 for you in the first ten one-shots. :)

Love me!


	11. NOT A CHAPTER

AN: Bloodredribbon here! I forgot to mention a few things in the last chapter. :P

Ok, I have four requests – **sacred histories** (186, **Bookworm310** (93, **Second daughter of eve** (200, **Sefiriot** (77, and **CidAngel'sTears** (93.

I'm sorry if anyone else was not quick enough. Lucky for those people though, for every ten one-shots I'm going to ask for five requests from you guys. I'll let you know when I post the tenth one-shot. I'm not quite sure how long this is going to take though so bear with me please? I do have a couple other fics in the works too, so they might be out before the one-shots or vice versa.

I'm gonna answer some of the reviews that I haven't already addressed.

**Rainspiral** – Lol, I actually thought about that after I posted chapter ten up. :P

**Bookworm810** – You are very welcome. ^_^

**Second daughter of eve** – o0o0o, with the one-shots I could have Annabelle commenting in them. Lmao, don't worry! My family gives me weird looks too!

**sacred histories** – Hehe, that's a secret till the one-shot is posted. :D

Love me!


	12. Chapter 11

Title: Things Sam And Will Are Not Allowed

Author: Bloodredribbon

**AN: Well, I'm honestly surprised that I was able to get this chapter out. The one-shots are slow going I'm sorry to say though. Don't have a lot inspiration right now. I love your guys support though and look forward to your reactions when I get the one-shots out. **

**Thanks to my Beta for rule 's 202, 204, 206, 208, 210, and 212.**

**Also thanks to dglsprincess105 for rule's 214 and 215**

* * *

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker told Sam and I that we were crazier than them! Personally I understand them saying that to Sam, but me? Most of the rules on the list are on there because Sam instigates almost all of them -

Just ignore Will for now, he's still pissed about the bet he lost about -

Lost?!? You cheated you son of a bit -

"Will you two please stop fighting with the data pad and finish the list please?" Both Sam and Will jumped from their chairs in Prowl's office in surprise.

Will glanced up at the tactician quickly and winced at seeing the glare directed at them. Sam also noticed this and started to snicker after realizing that Prowl most of seen their conversation on the data pad.

Will rolled his eyes at Sam's smothered laughter and nudged the teenager to finish the list.

Updated List:

201) Mixing Decepticon and Autobot chemicals together. - Sam and Will

*The pretty lights from the explosion made Annabelle stop crying though.

202) Asking Grapple if he is the love child of the Constructicon's. - Sam

203) Try to convince any Cybertronian (especially if they are new to Earth) that you can defy the laws of gravity. - Sam

*Shockwave and Blurr started to believe me, but Perceptor just had to walk in and ruin it.

204) Ravage and Steeljaw are NOT going to have kittens together. - Sam

*Disappointed Annabelle with that.

205) Weapons are not to be made for us without the Command Staffs approval. - Will

*This rule was put in place really because if the human government could not have it, they made damn sure we couldn't either.

206) Never let Fig cook for Epps again. - Will

*If curious as to why, discuss it with one of them.

207) Human drugs are not to be given to any Cybertronian just to see if it has the same affects as humans. - Sam

*I didn't think it would slow Blurr down.

208) Encourage Perceptor (or any scientist for that matter) to test chemical imbalances on Earth females. - Sam

*Mikaela and Maggie found out I encouraged them and made me do stuff I am not going to repeat.

209) Marriage is NOT a food. - Will

*Sam started laughing hysterically because he knew what I was referencing.

210) Hello Kitty stickers are to be kept away from Steeljaw. - Annabelle

*Reason: Said it made him look pretty, so for Blaster's sanity it was made a rule.

*Sorry Annabelle.

211) Wear a super hero suit and ask if you can fight crime too. - Sam and Will

*…

212) Tell any mech or femme that some humans can taste colors. - Will

*Ratchet and Hook became a little too curious with this.

213) Pretending that you can hear something. - Sam

*And get anybody in on it.

214) The Decepticon's are never allowed to watch _Jaws _or _The Abyss _ever again. - Sam and Will

*They refused to go back to the Nemesis for a couple of weeks.

215) Or have the Autobot's watch _Christine_. - Sam and Will

216) The saying 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do', can not be used in certain situations. - Sam

*Prowl said this was an obvious one.

217) Letting any Cybertronian be 'stolen' and have Barricade or Prowl 'catch' the car jacker. - Sam and Will

*Prowl actually thought it was a good idea until Jolt went missing for a while.

218) Attempt to fix a mech or femme yourself because they do not want to go to their own medic. - Will

*I told Will what would happen if he tried to fix Ironhide himself.

219) Saying you will do something and go do the opposite. - Sam and Will

220) Try to sell the Mini-bots as personal slaves to fan girls. - Sam and Will

*Optimus refused to speak to us.

*Megatron was glad that we didn't try that with his Seekers.

*…

*Banned from the Nemesis for a while…again.

Updated Banned List:

20) Porn - Sam

*Of any kind.

4) Any animals - Sam and Will

*Especially rodents or small dogs.

17) Recording devices - Sam and Will

*Cameras, camcorders, etc.

35) Spray Paint - Sam and Will

*Graffiting the Ark was fun though.

11) Silly String - Sam and Will

*The Medical Staff made Sam and I clean the targeted mechs and femmes ourselves.

* * *

Prowl just shook his head in exasperated amusement when he read through Epps and Mikaela's comments. He thought that Sam and Will would have learned by now…

Updated Comments:

168) Eyeing Ratchet's tools when said CMO is in the room can lead to dangerous results. - Sam

*Even I know Ratchet's tools are a big no no. - Annabelle

*See, even Annabelle knows! - Mikaela

*I knew that you two were crazy, but going after the Hatchet's tools? - Epps

182) Wheelie is NOT to be used as stress relief. - Will

*You do realize how protective Mikaela is of him don't you? - Epps

*Ratchet said that on your next physical, I can help. - Mikaela

148) Do I look stupid? - Sam and Will

*Yes, yes you do. - Mikaela and Epps

194) One word: **Cross-dressing. **- Sam and Will

*I'm actually glad that I helped you two with this. - Mikaela

*… - Epps

173) Are the Dinobot's mentally handicapped? - Sam

*Mikaela and I have no word to express how stupid you are being. - Epps and Mikaela

* * *

**AN: If anybody in a review can get the reference in rule 209 I will be happy to do a one-shot of your favorite TF pairing. (No het please)**

**Other than that yea…..**

**Love me please!**


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Things Sam and Will are not Allowed

Author: Bloodredribbon

**AN: Another chapter out, I'm amazed that I was able to keep this going as long as it has been. I thank all my reviewers for giving me ideas and support! Oh, my Beta was the first one to guess rule (209 and is getting a one-shot written for herself.**

**Darklight8121: Thanks for rules 227, 228, 231, and 240.**

**dglsprincess105: Thanks for rules 222, 226, 233, and 235.**

**sacred histories: Thanks for rule 226. Hehe, those Cassette's DID disappear though when that happened, nobody was safe that day...**

* * *

In the light of that Will and I got a little carried away last week, Ratchet 'suggested' that since Prowl could not always stay in his office that we could stay in the Med-bay instead. Mind you that both of the mech's had an evil smile on their faces will Ratchet said this. Primus have mercy on us….

Updated List:

221) Displaying anything inappropriate on the Ark or Nemesis screens, especially if there is an emergency. – Sam and Will

*Had everybody's root mode dance across the screens in hula-skirts.

222) Switching Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's colors. – Sam

*Who would have thought that Sides' would be the one to freak out?

*Sunny wasn't helping the situation either.

223) Same thing applies to going to the circus as rule 157 (Amusement parks). – Sam and Will

*We tried telling the 'Bots that it was a bad idea, but they wouldn't listen.

224) It wasn't us! – Sam and Will

*Like anybody will believe us anymore.

225) Try to scare anybody (that includes humans and Cybertronian's) after watching a horror movie.

*Starscream thought the chainsaw was a nice touch.

226) Attempt to teach Sam and Miles on how to shoot with a paintball gun. – Will, Epps, and Fig

*Megatron was not amused with his new color scheme.

*Got Red Alert and Soundwave to laugh with that one.

*Shockwave and Prowl surprisingly didn't try to stop us either, even when we went after Prime too.

227) Never threaten a Cybertronian with a Sugar hyped Annabelle. – Will

*Poor Dirge never knew what hit him.

*Blurr had fun though.

228) Don't make 'Grit' bombs and throw them out of speeding cars. – Sam

*Bumblebee took this to a whole new level.

229) The force is strong in this one. – Will

*Don't ask.

230) Encouraging the Arielbot's to play tracks of Darth Vader breathing around any human pilot. While in the AIR. In their HELMETS. – Sam

*Quite a few of the pilots wanted to retaliate, but after seeing the list they left it to us. (They didn't realize that I told them about it.)

231) Because of the above two rules, anything Star Wars is banned. – Sam and Will

*Same with Star Trek.

232) Just because one of the humans is having a bad day, do not suggest 'Fuzz Therapy' and point them to Ravage of Steeljaw. – Sam

*It worked when I used it.

*Mikaela said it worked for her too.

233) Wet newspapers falls into the same category as rule 228 (Grit bombs). – Will

234) Ask Prowl or Shockwave to read books to Annabelle that will make them freeze up. – Will

*Like Alice in Wonderland, Dr. Seus, Shel Silverstone, etc.

235) Prank calling a mech or femme. – Sam

236) Try to bribe ANYBODY to do your homework. – Sam

*Got away with it for a while till Skyfire saw my homework and recognized Starscream's work.

237) Go up to random mech and femmes with a poke ball, throw it and point while saying, "I choose you!" – Sam and Will

*Digimon, Yugioh, Bykugan, etc. are also banned.

*It took a while for them to catch us because our 'Pokémon' were protecting us.

238) Using Teeletran-1 to play online games. – Will

*I was only playing poker…

*Not my fault Smokescreen, Swindle, and Lockdown walked in and saw it.

239) Sticking sticky notes all over Teeletran-1 and when asked about it you just say that it has a bigger screen than your computer. - Sam

240) Never suggest to use butter as a replacement lube for joints. - Sam

*Mojo followed Ironhide all day.

Updated Banned List:

41) Candle Wax. – Sam

*That stuff is hard to get off.

23) Balloons – Sam and Will

*The Medical Staff was **pissed**.

38) Permanent makers, crayons, colored pencils, etc. – Sam and Will (but mostly Will)

*As long as it stay in Will's room.

33) Bubble Wrap – Will

*Scared quite a few 'Cons with it.

25) Popcorn – Sam and Will

* * *

Just because Epps and I participated in a couple of this week's rules does that mean that we agree with what Sam and Will are doing. I can't believe that they got Miles AND Fig to go along with it too!

Updated Comments:

8) If Prime says "Roll Out", I do not reply with "Wheeljack hasn't given me wheels yet" and walk away to find said Engineer. – Will and Sam

*The human government caught wind of what you two said and the Command Staff got in a lot of trouble. – Epps

*The Medical and Science teams were appalled that the government thought that they were experimenting on you two. – Mikaela

220) Try to sell the Mini-bots as personal slaves to fan girls. - Sam and Will

*The Seekers almost went ballistic because of this! – Mikaela

*Those Mini-bots are out for blood you realize right? – Epps

120) Never ask Wheeljack to alter any of the humans' electronics ever again. – Sam and Will

*The Command Staff almost had half the mind to not replace anything, but they remembered that other SENSIBLE humans need to eat too. – Epps

*Ratchet was glad that nobody was hurt when the Fridge came to life and tried to eat people. – Mikaela

47) Painting any mech of femme a different color without their consent is not allowed. – Sam

*The femmes actually came to me to deal with you for this. – Mikaela

*You still haven't learned not to mess with Sunstreaker huh? – Epps

236) Prank calling a mech or femme. – Sam

* Red Alert freaked and destroyed half of the Nemesis' Rec-room thanks to you. – Epps

*Do you know who long it took to reprogram Red Alert?!? – Mikaela

* * *

**AN: I might have another chapter out before the end of next week. :)**

**Love me!**


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Things Sam and Will are not Allowed

Author: Bloodredribbon

Disclaimer: If I owned them they would be real.

**AN: I'm baaaaacccckkkkkk! And still no success with writing the one-shots. This sucks…**

**Darklight8121: Thanks for rules 248, 250, 254, 256, and 260**

**MISCrasyaboutfanfics: Thanks for rules 242, 246, and 252**

**CoalTreasure: Thanks for rule 244**

**Sacred histories: 'Cade was angry because both of his bond-mates decided to do something that could kill both of them.**

**StarSwoop: The way I found out was to search Fuzz Therapy Clavin and Hobbes on Google.**

* * *

This past week had many TV related incidents so Prowl decided to dedicate this week's list to cartoons, movies, and shows. Both Will and I think that the Command Staff is eventually going to ban TV or at least put Parental locks on it. On second thought, I hope they put parental locks on it, it would be hilarious to see the 'Bots reactions. Luckily for the 'Cons, Megatron does not care what they watch at the Nemesis. Personally I think he enjoys watching his troops act stupid.

Updated List:

241) Have any of the 'Cons watch Finding Nemo. - Sam and Will

*Many of them decided to 'claim' a few humans as their 'squishy'.

*Both of us are surprised that the 'Bots did not participate in this.

242) Going around and telling anyone that Miley Cyrus has multiple personalities; even though Hannah Montana is a fictional character. - Sam

*Blitzwing was ecstatic that a human had multiple personalities like himself and wanted to date her.

243) Anything on TV (including movies) that is not a cartoon with talking animals in it. - Will

*The more logical the mech or femme is the harder they crash I found out.

*Surprisingly, if it was a cartoon with talking animals nobody crashed. Which I found interesting.

244) Pranksters on both factions do not need to be watching stand up comedy or any other type of comedy.

*I.e. Bill Engvall, Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, Comedy Central, Spike, etc.

*I was told that Jazz, Skywarp, both sets of Twins, Rumble, Frenzy, Random, and Bumblebee were listed as said pranksters. There are a few others, but they usually are not active pranksters most of the time.

245) Trying to reenact when the alien in the movie _Alien_ pops out of people's stomachs. With Wheelie. - Sam and Will

*This was met with mixed reactions…

*Hound had fun with his holo-projectors though.

246) Watching Phineas and Ferb. - Sam

*Mudflap, Skids, Rumble, Blitzwing, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker actually tried to climb the Eiffel Tower and paint a cotton field.

247) Do not make the Autobot's believe that Teeletran-1 is going to take over the Ark then the world. - Sam

*I've watched way too many Sci-Fi movies.

248) Jolt is to never watch Indiana Jones AGAIN. - Will

*Even I realize that was a bad idea.

249) Rocky Horror Picture show made EVERY mech and femme fritz and is now banned. - Will

*It did bring back horrifying memories of when Sam and I cross dressed though.

*There was only one mech that did not crash…

250) Make a replica body of a human after watching Battlestar Galactica with the Cylons and have the real body 'killed'. - Sam and Will

*Wheeljack was happy to go along with it.

*The Ark was on lock down for a week and the Nemesis for two.

251) After watching 'Pimp my Ride' try to get any Cybertronian to enter as an old junker. - Will

*Quite a few of them agreed.

*Found out the reason why is because they did not want to deal with Ratchet and Hook's 'tender' mercies.

252) Watching Rugrats, Pinky and the Brain, Chalkzone, and etc when Prowl or Shockwave are near. - Everyone

*You cant really blame Annabelle for this one, she's only a toddler.

*Their CPU froze and Ratchet AND Hook were not happy.

253) Lord of the Rings should not be watched around certain mechs and femmes. - Sam and Will

*Seeing Frenzy clutching something possessively while muttering "My precious" is a little freaky.

*The Mini-bots are now being referred to as Hobbits.

254) Discovery Channel is banned from all Autobot's. - Sam and Will

*And we all have Ratchet to thank for that.

255) Jenny from 'My Life as a Teenage Robot' is NOT a Pretender. - Sam

*Bumblebee just about freaked when he was watching this.

*Later he told me that he witnessed what happened with Mikaela, Leo, and I with the chick Pretender.

256) Do not encourage the Arielbot's to go look for survivors on _LOST. - _Sam and Will

*Weirdly enough, they actually DID find survivors…

257) Going into any hanger or room and saying that it needs to be exorcised and then proceed to sing the _Ghostbusters_ theme song and 'exorcise'. - Will

*…

258) Same with saying that there are Zombies and go out to 'kill' them. - Sam

*Nobody appreciates Zombie movies anymore.

259) As with rule 255 in any of the _Terminator _movies, they are NOT Pretenders. - Will

*You think that they would learn by now.

260) Jim Henson is NOT an evil genius bent on taking over the world by using Muppets to hypnotize kids. - Will

*But Annie just sits there!

Update Banned List:

31) Leather. - Sam and Will

*We still can't believe we agreed to cross dress.

7) Pie. - Will

*For letting Annabelle throw them.

22) Sock 'em Boppers. - Sam, Will, Epps, Leo, Miles, and Fig

2) Any type of fish. - Sam

*Only if it is contained in the humans kitchen and cooked right away.

37) Strobe Lights. - Sam and Will

*They mess up are eyesight just as much as a mech or femmes.

* * *

Mikaela and I did not think that Sam and Will could get that many ideas from watching TV! Will also mentioned that they're still a few rules that pertain to this weeks that are going to be showing up on next weeks due to not having enough room on the data-pad. Which I know of course that he is lying.

Updated Comments:

230) Encouraging the Arielbot's to play track of Darth Vader breathing around any human pilot. While in the AIR. In their HELMETS. - Sam

*That was NOT funny Sam. - Epps

*Do you know that some of those pilots had to go to therapy because of this? - Mikaela

9) When training with Ironhide, I am not allowed to ask him to show me his cannons every time Galloway walks by. - Will

*As long as you don't shoot him… - Mikaela

*Your lucky that Optimus has your back, or you would have been fired for that. - Epps

122) Pretending to be a Ninja at night and 'attacking' intruders. - Sam and Will

*It was you two?!? I almost shot at you! - Epps

*I'm glad that Sam that your mom gave me a baseball bat. It came in handy with you two knuckle heads. - Mikaela

51) Letting any Cybertronian play any human sports is not allowed unless two officers are present. - Sam and Will

*I'm glad that Optimus got to the field when he did… - Mikaela

*Mikaela told me I'm not allowed to comment on this one. - Epps

20) I am not allowed to teach the Autobot's Leet and make Optimus Prime think he's crazy. - Sam

*We do not need the leader of the Autobot's to crash Sam. - Epps

*Thank Primus that Ratchet happened to walk by when you were doing this. - Mikaela

* * *

**AN: I actually might post another chapter in a couple of days… *crosses fingers***

**Love me!**


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Things Sam and Will are not Allowed

Author: Bloodredribbon

Disclaimer: I wish…

**AN: What up!?! I lied, and ya…But I think the fic I posted kept you entertained for me to get this out at least. This is not Betaed and chapter two of All Around Me will be coming soon, I just have to have my Beta go over it.**

**Darklight8121: Thanks for rules 261-63, 271-80. And for the Banned List, rules 5 and 18.**

* * *

The rest of the rules from last week are in here plus the rules for this week.

Updated List:

261) Lucky charms will not make you invisible, shrink, fly, float, time travel, freeze stuff, or anything else. - Sam

*You know how excited Anna got when she saw this commercial?

262) Red Bull will NOT give you wings. - Will

*…

263) Jeff Dunham is not possessed by demons. - Sam

*Then the guy has multiple personalities!

264) Using glow in the dark paint to graffiti on mechs and femmes. - Sam and Will

*That was a fun experience

265) Make up your own language and only certain Cybertronian's are allowed to learn. - Sam and Will

*We only let the Command Staff in on it. It was pretty epic.

266) 'Houston' is not an actual person at NASA. - Will

*I thought it was.

267) Go up to a mech or femme and say "Pull my finger." - Sam

*Ratchet almost killed me for this.

268) I don't speak stupid. - Sam and Will

*We had to hide for a while.

269) Don't play on the streets, the freeway is much better. - Sam

*…

270) Asking why repeatedly. - Sam

*Or "Are we there yet?"

271) Just because Hound says he can do it does not mean you should encourage him to do it! - Sam and Will

*Not even going to touch that one.

272) NEVER tell new arrivals that cell phones on vibrate are human femme vibrators. - Sam

*This is all Sam.

273) Mouse pads are not made out of mice. Stop telling the newbies that. - Will

*That didn't stop them from thinking they were.

274) Sub woofers are not vibrators for mechs. Stop encouraging them to get them. - Sam

*Oh yea? Then please explain why Jazz was rolling on the ground saying - That's enough Sam!

275) Simmons is not a test from the government to see if the mechs can get along with even the most annoying humans. - Sam and Will

*Oh they complain about that? They should try to room with LEO. Big Sparklings…

*Don't forget I had to deal with Galloway.

276) Stop getting the 'Bots to pick up Lennox and shove paper inside him for copies. HE IS NOT A PRINTER! - Sam

*You are an ass Sam.

277) Army Wives is NOT a documentary. - Will

278) Put pink glitter in a mech or femmes air intakes. - Sam and Will

*Prowl looked so pretty though!

*'Cade didn't scare Annabelle because of it anymore.

279) Never tell 'Bee that the voice of K.A.R.R. sound like Optimus. - Sam

280) Deer hunting season does not include running them down on purpose. Even if a mech's armor can take it. - Will and 'Hide

*Poor Hound was **really** upset.

Updated Banned Items:

5) Flashlights. - Sam

*Only in emergency situations.

*I don't think Ravage and Steeljaw are going to learn their lesson.

18) Movie Projectors. - Will

*It was a little prank. Who knew that the Arielbot's would NOT scan it to make sure it was not a real human.

*Blackout thought it was funny though.

3) Glow in the dark paint. - Sam and Will

*Fun times

43) The type of puppets that Ventriloquist use. - Sam

*Those things are freaky enough without them talking.

7) Toys. - Will

*As long as they stay in my room.

* * *

So of course more of Will and Sam being idiots like usual, if this goes on for much longer, Mikaela and I are going to have to restrain them some how. We have to talk to the Command Staff first and see if they would agree to what we have planned.

Updated Comments:

245) Trying to reenact when the alien in the movie _Alien_ pops out of people's stomachs. With Wheelie. - Sam and Will

*You two are so lucky that you did injure Wheelie! I would have kicked both of your asses! - Mikaela

*That movie was awesome man! I don't know why -" - Epps

11) I am not allowed to say to either set of Twins, "If it doesn't work the first time, try again." - Will

*Stupid thing to say Will. - Epps

*They don't need someone to say it out loud, it only encourages them. - Mikaela

161) What's the worst that can happen? - Sam and Will

*How many times have we talked about NOT challenging the powers of worst? - Mikaela

*You do know that the Command Staff refuses to talk about that day and also confiscated the video surveillance of that day too? - Epps

62) Giving random hugs and laughing insanely is not approved. - Sam

*I don't need to be freaked out before I go flying Sam. - Epps

*Optimus and Megatron weren't happy when you made Prowl and Shockwave crash. - Mikaela

180) Using Teletraan's base wide communications. - Sam

*No, just no. - Mikaela

*I am so glad that I was not on base to hear that. - Epps

* * *

**AN: Ok! **

**Love me!**


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Things Sam and Will are not Allowed

Author: BloodRedRibbon

Disclaimer: Me no own

**AN: I've been thinking about this for a while and I think that this will be the last chapter. I will start it back up again AFTER I have been able to do all of the one-shots up to this point. I will still be taking suggestion's though. Oh, go check out my one-shot yes? Answered Questions at the bottom.**

**MISCrazyaboutfanfics: Thanks for rules 282 and 291**

**dglsprincess105: Thanks for rule 284 and 43(Banned List)**

**Prophet-of-worlds: Thanks for rules 287-88**

**Koi: Thanks for rule 2(Banned List)**

**Vaeru: Thanks for the concept in rule 298**

**For rule 293, whoever suggested it gets full credit! For some odd reason I can not find the person who did. *walks off muttering***

* * *

Prowl decided that since we have reached 300 rules that Will and I can take a break for a while and not update the List. I think Ratchet was just getting tired of us in his Med-Bay for extended periods of time and made Prowl give us a break.

Updated List:

281) Hey Ratchet! You could be a front liner with that arm! - Will

*He should!

282) Singing 'Before he Cheats' around any mech. - Mikaela

*Ironhide thought that she was going to vandalize him.

*The femmes thought it was hilarious and asked Mikaela to teach it to them.

283) Try to explain sexual habits of humans without a Cybertronian Medic present.- Will

*I think Ratchet and Hook made it more complicated.

284) When Megatron or any Decepticon laughs evilly or manically, do not join them. - Sam and Will

*'Cade thought that we were a little too convincing.

285) I did not gain psychic abilities from Primus, so I need to stop saying I did. - Sam

*Only if they knew…

286) Any Government Official is off-limits. - Sam and Will

*Keller's the only one who knows how to take a joke anyways.

287) I am forbidden of tricking any Cybertronian to an Anime Convention or Comic Con, in root mode. - Sam, Will, Leo, Epps, Fig, and Miles

*We were hounded by Gundam fans all day…

288) Speaking of Anime, the following is band: Bleach, Inuyasha, Death Note, Rurouni Kenshin, Full Metal Alchemist, Ouran High School Host Club, Sailor Moon, and Fruits Basket. - Sam, Will, Leo, Fig, Epps, Miles, and Annabelle

*Anything with giant swords is bad, especially since Sideswipe kept trying to use Bankai and the Wind Scar.

*Annabelle used her super cuteness to make us cross-dress…AGAIN, but as the girls from Sailor Moon. 'Hide thought it was hilarious though.

*Ratchet and Hook banned all note-books. We thought they would be smarted than that, obviously not since Megatron tried using a Death Note.

*Excessive hugging almost killed everyone, Primus only knows why 'Bee was sad when no one turned into an animal.

*Won't even mention what happened after Jazz, and a few others saw Host Club. Let's just say that the Femmes are still shocked…

289) Just because Ratchet **WAS** a diplomat, does not mean he is willing to be one again. - Sam and Will

*We asked and he just smiles at us and went back to polishing his wrench.

290) Pretend that you're a pirate while at the Nemesis and that the buried treasure is located at the Ark. - Sam

*We got Shockwave to agree.

*Told him that his 'treasure' was Blurr.

*Did that same thing with Lockdown.

*Prowl was not happy to be whisked away.

291) Switching Galloway's or anyone else's shampoo with hair dye. - Sam and Will

*Since he had a meeting immediately, he had to go with it orange.

*Also was told that this was a classic prank pulled, except in the wash wrack with paint.

292) The same thing that happened at Sam's high school graduation, is not going to happen again at his college graduation. - Will, Epps, and Fig

*Fun times…

293) Drop sticky wall walker toys down the back of a Cybertronian's armor. - Sam and Will

*Jazz and Wheeljack got the funky chicken dance right.

294) When handing in a report it must be legible. - Will

*What? If you don't like my writing make Epps do it!

295) Cybertronian's **HATE **sand and we should do well to remember that. - Sam and Will

296) Do not switch the wax with paint thinner. - Sam

*Sideswipe and Skywarp said this was a classic prank.

297) If we want to leave the Ark or the Nemesis, we have to be escorted. - Sam and Will

*This was put in place because they do not trust us at all.

298) Rigging the Ark or Nemesis' doorways to nip certain Cybertronian's. - Sam (Not mine)

*Megatron actually got stuck in a doorway.

*Optimus couldn't stop laughing at his bond-mate.

299) Pictures do not literally come to life. - Will

*Hound can make them though.

300) Go up to the Command Trine and say that they look like Doritos. - Sam

*Skywarp thought it was funny, Thundercracker just ignored me, and Starscream refused to talk to me.

Updated Banned Items:

2) Duck tape or Electrical tape. - Everyone

*Wheeljack got blamed for this one.

*Ratchet and Hook were pissed.

43) Jurassic Park. - Dinobots

*They got a little too excited.

6) Alcohol or High grade in excessive amounts. - Everyone

*Fun times.

13) Items to go Tping with. - Humans

*Only suppose to use them as they were designed for.

44) Rope. - Sam and Will

*Ironhide enjoyed and I know Barricade and Bumblebee did too.

* * *

Thank Primus that Prowl is letting the Twiddle De and Twiddle Dumb take a break! I don't know how much more the Command Staff and everyone else can take of their insanity. It doesn't help that some of them **like **to help the two. (Wheeljack, Skywarp, the Cassettes.)

Updated Comments: 

265) Make up your own language and only certain Cybertronian's are allowed to learn. - Sam and Will

*Personally, I think that the Command Staff enjoyed this a little too much. - Epps

*Thanks to you dimwits, my lesson with Ratchet was canceled! - Mikaela

245) Trying to reenact when the alien in the movie _Alien_ pops out of people's stomachs. With Wheelie. - Sam and Will

*It's not so fun when you're the one popping out is it? - Mikaela

*How many times do I have to tell you two psycho's not to mess with Wheelie? - Epps

299) Pictures do not literally come to life. - Will

*Hound was in a lot of trouble for this one. - Epps

*I don't think I've seen Optimus that mad before. - Mikaela

1) I am not allowed to tell Bumblebee that every mech and femme needs a theme song. - Sam

*You and 'Bee had to hide for the rest of the day if I remember correctly. - Mikaela

*Will did the smart thing and refused to be involved with this. - Epps

35) Getting Blitzwing stuck on Random should never be done again. - Will

*Why, just why? - Epps

*Even Hook, who has millions of years of experience with Blitzwing's personalities, could not fix it. Thank Primus that Jazz was able to control his bond-mate. - Mikaela

* * *

**AN: Ok, here our some of the answers to a few questions I was asked.**

**Dglsprincess105: Rule 271, hmmm true! Rule 269, I've come across this saying before and I didn't remember the exact wording. Basically it's saying that since freeway's are busier than side-streets it's funnier to play. Rule 268, hehe you'll just have to see when I do the one-shot for it! :P**

**Second daughter of eve: I have a few variations of the rule. Don't be sorry! :D**

**Dragon Queen88: Rule 249, hehe just have to wait and see! ^_^**

**Flamekaat: All will be explained in the one-shot for it!**


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Things Sam and Will Are Not Allowed

Author: BloodRedRibbon

Disclaimer: I don't own

**AN: Sooo….I decided to start this back up. Sorry that I haven't done any more one-shots yet. My creative juices are severely lacking right now, so I am going to be taking requests. I only do slash pairings though.**

**EmruasCat: Thanks for rule 301. ,Sacred histories: Thanks for rule 303, Dglsprincess105: Thanks for rule 305 and 311, Tiara Light: Thanks for rule 307 and 313, Second daughter of eve: Thanks for rule 309, MISCrazyaboutfanfics: Thanks for rule 315 and 319, BlizzardDragon: Thanks for rule 317.**

* * *

Poking his head into the Med-Bay on the Ark, Bumblebee spotted Sam and Will tapping away on data-pads on top of a berth. Ratchet gave the yellow scout a glare, and 'Bee shrunk back and hurried down the corridor. There was no way he was going to take on Ratchet just to talk to Sam.

Updated List:

301) Respect everyone's religion, especially the Cybertronian's. - Sam

*Sam, stop saying you can talk to Primus!

302) Soundwave does not appreciated having Rumble and Frenzy involved with anything we do. Sam thing with Starscream about Skywarp. - Sam and Will

*Still doesn't stop them from helping us though now does it?

303) No, there are not brightly colored ponies that can talk and no, the giant purple dinosaur named 'Barney' is not trying to brain wash kids. - Will

*At this rate Will, there's nothing that your going to let Annabelle watch is there?

304) Making the lights aboard the Nemesis or Ark flicker and play a recording of creepy noises. - Sam and Will

*Skywarp and the Cassettes had a blast with this one on the Nemesis. The Combaticon's not so much.

305) When the Cassette's go to recharge in their respective Creator's chest, you can not ask to join and have a 'sleep over'. - Sam and Will

*Amazed everyone when Sam was able to sneak in to Soundwave's chest, same with Will and Blaster and not get caught.

306) Putting a chemical into the wash-racks shower heads. - Sam

*Wheeljack was amazed that I was able to make that big of an explosion and asked what I used. I gave him by old high school chemistry book.

307) I'd rather fall asleep in you. – Ironhide*Do not encourage the native lifeforms' twisted sense of humor.

308) Try to get a mech or femme to create a holo-form of yourself so they can go to school/work for you.- Sam and Will

*You gotta admit that it was a brilliant idea and it worked for about a week before Ratchet and Hook noticed something was off.

309) Two words: Beer. Pong. - Will

*Sideswipe and Sunstreaker decided to have a tournament consisting only of twin's. Since this made it to the list, you can tell things did not end well.

*The tournament fell apart shortly after Skywarp said that Starscream was his twin and that they wanted in on the action.

310) A haunted house at Halloween is fine, as long as people, like Galloway or Simmons for instance, do not mysteriously 'disappear' after they enter. - Sam, Will, Leo, Epps, Fig, Miles, Mikaela

* (Everyone is laughing to hard to comment on this.)

311) If you find a Cybertronian's 'tickle spot', do not exploit it. - Sam and Will

*Well it did get Shockwave, Prowl, Red Alert, Optimus, Soundwave, and Megatron to do what we wanted.

312) Playing music at glass shattering level's is not okay. Especially if it's around a mech or femme that is sensitive to sound-wave's. - Sam

*Found out later that this can have a 'special' affect on certain Cybertronian's if the pitch is right.

313) Wear a sign in Cybertronian suggesting I give hugs or less platonic favors. - Sam and Will

*This was actually pretty fun to do. Except when we got chased by a bunch of horny fliers…

314) Technically Cybertronian's have no gender, so don't go asking a femme and mech to see their 'parts' to see if this is true. - Sam

*Chromia and Acree were happy to oblige. So was Swindle and Onslaught surprisingly.

315) Setting up Blaster and Soundwave on a date just because they both have Cassettes. -Will*They did not appreciate it.*Soundwave tried to figure out I had a psychological disorder after that incident.

*Found out later that Perceptor was Soundwave's bonded and Tracks was Blaster's bonded. Can you say awkward?

316) Going around using a voice synthesizer. It would have been alright if it was for a scientific experiment. Instead it was used to freak out the government officials that were visiting. - Sam and Will

*Like we said before, only Keller like's our pranks.

317) Giving any new arrivals a list for a scavenger hunt and telling them that they only cant meet Prime after they have found all the items. - Will

*With a straight face.

*And put items on the list that don't exist anymore.

318) Getting one of the scientist to make a remote that can turn anything electrical off. - Sam and Will

*Reason why we got away with so much.

*Luckily we have a super secret hiding place for the remote which nobody has found yet.

*And no, we are not going to say where it is. Were not _that _stupid.

319) Locking Elita-One and Optimus Prime in a room together for no reason.- Will*Same thing applies to Chromia and Ironhide.*Or Arcee and any mech.

*Found out that the femmes were all bonded together. Hence their rather violent behavior after they were let out.

320) Playing 'The Game'. - Sam and Will

*Really funny to watch the 'Bots and 'Cons play this. Especially if you have Soundwave use his telepathy to check and see if anyone is cheating.

Updated Banned Items:

46) Jell-O. - Sam and Will

*Only if _you _are going to eat it.

43) Hair dye or color dye. - Sam and Will

*Only if you are using the hair dye on _yourself_ and only if you are using the color dye of food that _you _are going to eat.

45) Any talking toy. - Will

*Thankfully, Annie doesn't like them. Says that 'Hide is better than any talking toy.

*Especially if it is a Furby.

47) Utensils. - Sam and Will

*Only used if it is the for the purpose of feeding oneself.

43) Doorbells. - Sam

*I thought it was a good idea.

* * *

Since 'Bee couldn't talk to Sam at the moment, the mech went to find Mikaela instead. He found her and Epps in Prowl's office typing away at data-pads. Mikaela noticed the yellow Camaro and waved him over. Once near enough to see what the two were typing, Bumblebee started to laugh. Prowl, who was sitting in his chair, vented air through his vents in amusement at 'Bee's reaction.

Updated Comments:

290) Pretend that you're a pirate while at the Nemesis and that the buried treasure is located at the Ark. - Sam

*I have to admit that that I am in awe that you were able to get Lockdown AND Shockwave to participate in it. - Mikaela

*When Prowl gets a hold of you two, I am not going to help you. - Epps

69) Asking who the "Fairest of them all" and throwing an 'Enchanted' mirror in a crowd of mechs and femmes in not suggested. - Sam

*Epps is laughing to hard to give a comment so I will. Do you realize that Ratchet had to call over Hook to help him with repairs after you did this?!? It took days to get everybody repaired! - Mikaela

163) Are we there yet? - Sam

*I guess even the most laid back can snap too. - Epps

*Why did you not listen to me when I told you the first time to shut up? - Mikaela

23) If I get pulled over in an Autobot, I will not bribe the cop with said Autobot. – Sam and Will

*No, just no you guys. - Mikaela

*Both Prowl and surprisingly Barricade were decidedly NOT happy with you two. - Epps

262) Red Bull will NOT give you wings. - Will

*I-Really-Dammit Will, I expected you to be a little bit more responsible than Sam. - Mikaela

*I have to agree with 'Kaela Will, I'm kinda disappointed with you right now and I hope in the future that you will think before you act next time. - Epps

* * *

**AN: Lol, in rule (320 I lost. Who else did? ^_^**

**Love me yes?**


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Things Sam and Will are not Allowed

Author: BloodRedRibbon

Disclaimer: I don't own.

**AN: Blood Shifter2: Thanks for rule (322, Lady FoxFire: Thanks for rules (328 and (336, MISCrasyaboutfanfics: Thanks for rule (330, Madam President: Thanks for rule (332, Tiara Light: Thanks for rules (326 and (334, dglsprincess105: Thanks for rule (324, Darklight8121: Thanks for rules (339, (335, and (333.**

* * *

Will really didn't think that the list would get this large and he knew that Prowl didn't think it would either. He had a suspicion that if him and Sam kept creating chaos for the Cybertronian's they were going to throw them in _their _brig and leave them there for however long they see fit.

**Updated List:**

321) Giving a list of Chuck Norris jokes to any pranksters. - Sam

*Skywarp, Rumble, and Frenzy went a little crazy with these.

322) Pump helium gas into the Nemesis or Ark to see if they sound like chipmunks. - Sam and Will

*The results were…interesting to say the least, but worth it.

323) Have a sign saying 'You are here' posted randomly throughout the Nemesis and Ark. - Will

*Even some of the 'Bots thought this was a good idea.

324) Just because Wheeljack does not need it anymore, does not mean that you can keep it. - Sam

*Who knew that it would explode while I was at school?

325) After watching _The Ring _call a mech or femmes comm and tell them that they are going to die in seven days. - Sam and Will

*We got Skywarp to make the call and Soundwave to make sure the call couldn't be traced or recognize.

*Shockwave almost killed us though for doing it to Blurr.

326) Painting tracks of any kind on the floor leading to private rooms or secure locations. - Sam

*Anybody new didn't get lost anymore.

*Got lectured on if there were enemies around that the tracks would have been our downfall.

327) Order a bunch of sex toys off of Megatron's e-mail account. - Sam and Will

*Then he went and found me and threatened to use them on me.

*We enjoyed it.

*'Bee, 'Hide, and 'Cade didn't.

328) Monster/Horror movie make-up. - Sam and Will

*Freaked everybody out when we said that we were bitten by a vampire bat or werewolf.

*Best part was when we applied fake blood to ourselves one morning and said Freddy Krueger got to us and that they were next.

329) Make a tent fort in the middle of the Rec-Room, Med-Bay, or Security Room and tell everybody that they only can enter if they know the password and the secret hand shake. - Epps, Will, Leo, Miles, Sam, Mikaela, Maggie, Glenn

*We even got Maggie and Glenn to participate in this too!

330) Borrowing anyone's credit card to go on a shopping spree. - All humans

*Just got the bill in and you can say that Optimus and Megatron are NOT happy.

331) Every time someone logs onto Teletraan-1, naked human's start dancing across the screen. - Will

*Rumble and Frenzy asked how I did it.

*Soundwave snatched them before I could say unfortunately.

332) When Ratchet is in one of his moods and throws a wrench at your guardian, you can NOT throw a wrench at HIM. - Sam and Will

*Let's just say that we hid for a while.

333) Seeker heat _is _real. - Sam and Will

*God or Primus help us get those images out of our minds…

*I don't know Sam, I kinds got a few ideas.

334) Changing Sunstreaker and Sideswipe one paint shade at a time until they notice. - Sam and Will

*Sunstreaker was pastel lemon and Sideswipe was a dark blood red.

335) Do NOT, under any circumstance, touch the red and yellow wires that hang out of Wheeljack's shoulder together. - Sam

*It took 'Bee forever to get me away from a horny inventor…

*My luck too that Bluestreak was on a mission.

336) Smiling evilly and then walk of chuckling for a week straight. It caused everyone to become paranoid because they were expecting you to pull a prank on them. - Will

*Red Alert and Soundwave knew better though and just ignored us.

337) Put a bucket of some type of sticky substance above a doorway. - Sam

*Also told that this was a classic prank by Sideswipe who had the misfortune to walk through the door.

338) Never EVER try to swindle Swindle. - Sam and Will

*He decided that we would be good play toys for his gestalt.

339) Do not ever suck on the horns of any 'Bot or 'Con (unless your bonded to them) especially Optimus. - Will

*Yea, not going to talk about that one.

340) Cross your fingers and declare 'peace and love' and claim Primus taught it to you. - Sam

*Sam! Stop saying stuff like that!

**Updated Banned Items:**

50) Bubbles - Annabelle

*She got a little too excited at bath time.

52) Honey - Sam

*I can lick it off to clean up the mess. :D

48) Horror/Monster Make-Up - Sam and Will

*(Laughing too hard)*

51) Gasses - Sam and Will

*Fun times

49) Invisible Ink - Will

*I was laughing a week straight with this one.

* * *

Why can't those two at least behave for a week straight at least once?

**Updated Comments:**

320) Playing 'The Game' - Sam and Will

*Can't say anything bad about this one. Don't know why it was banned. - Epps

*Too many people were yelling out 'I lost the game' randomly while they were suppose to be working. - Mikaela

123) Can I touch it? - Sam

*Did you not see the red hazard sign saying NOT to touch it? - Mikaela

*Gotta give Inferno props for moving that quickly to you. - Epps

13) I am not allowed to ask Hound to project an open space over a wall and bet how many humans would run in to it. - Sam and Will

*That hurt you fraggers! - Epps

*I've never seen Hound run so fast when Mirage fell for it.

268) I don't speak stupid. - Sam and Will

*Are you sure about that? - Mikaela

*The look the Command Staff gave you guys after saying that was freakin' hilarious! - Epps

225) Try to scare anybody (that includes humans and Cybertronian's) after watching a horror movie. - All humans

*Wasn't so funny after Mikaela hit you Will was it? - Epps

*(Shakes head) You guys got Starscream in on it too huh? - Mikaela

* * *

**AN: Oh, I have plot bunnies up for adoption on my page and if you want to do a one-shot for any of these rules, be my guess. Just PM first though please. Also, do you guys want me to tell you who the bonded pairs are in this?**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Here's the list of pairings.**

Shockwave/Blurr

Barricade/Sam/Bumblebee

Ironhide/Will

Lockdown/Prowl

Blitzwing/Jazz

Megatron/Optimus

Skyfire/Starscream

Thundercracker/Skywarp

Sunstreaker/Ratchet/Sideswipe

Wheeljack/Bluestreak

Soundwave/Perceptor

Seaspray/Beachcomber

Trailbreaker/Jolt/Smokescreen

Hound/Mirage

Inferno/Red Alert

Tracks/Blaster

Gestalts are bonded to each other. (ie - Constucticon's are bonded to each other)

Femmes are bonded to each other.

Dinobot's are bonded to each other.

**AN: If I missed any that I mentioned in the chapters I apologize. This is the last chapter for this story. I have some personal issues for stopping this right here and I hoped that everybody enjoyed the ride. ^^**

**On another note, I'm sorry that it's taking me so long with All Around Me, and I am trying my hardest to get it revised and back on track. In the mean time if you haven't seen it yet, I posted a new one-shot, so that can keep you entertained for a bit.**

**BloodRedRibbon**


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